I have been flustered all day and can't think straight. Even meeting a friend I met through this blog and have been looking forward to connecting in person with for a while went with me being too distraught to take advantage of his company properly.
(Did that paragraph make any sense? I have no idea!)
Earlier, I called a friend I had not talked to in a while and found out a man I respected greatly has passed away. Mr. S. was more than a treasured friend, he was also someone to look up to and hang on to his every word.
When I started to write regularly for Persian publications I was rather insecure. Immigrating to the west when I was a teenager, I had very limited high school education in my mother tongue and wasn't sure if that was good enough to write respectable, serious stuff with. It was only after I discovered Mr. S. was a regular reader and fan of my arbitrary articles and short notes that I found enough confidence to continue. He was a political veteran, expert writer and an all out knowledgeable person with enough credentials to back him up. If he found my stuff acceptable, I figured they can't be that bad. I still write often with him on my mind.
Now he is gone and apparently it all happened so quickly, not only myself but many other friends and even relatives never got a chance to offer their last respects or words of support.
I will miss Mr. S. and hope to live to the day where I feel confident that I deserved his kind words, the confidence he instilled in me and credit he'd often offer for my work. I also promise to not let my dad go for his daily walk by himself tomorrow and spend as much time with him as possible.Posted by Pedram at March 7, 2004 11:13 PM