November 12, 2003
The Great Orator
I haven't done this in a while and quite honestly miss it a great deal. When I came across a page of quotes attributed to the former Governor of Texas today, I could not stop myself from laughing. It was actually interesting that every quote that sounded even half-decent, was from a formal and pre-written (by someone else) speech and all the fun ones were him actually talking. So if he was forced to speak for himself, these are the only kinds of crap "W" could manage to say. Enjoy:
They want the federal government controlling Social Security like it's some kind of federal program.Posted by Pedram at November 12, 2003 11:59 PMThe California crunch really is the result of not enough power-generating plants and then not enough power to power the power of generating plants.
People shouldn't read into venue locations someone's heart.
Redefining the role of the United States from enablers to keep the peace to enablers to keep the peace from peacekeepers is going to be an assignment.
The most important job is not to be governor, or first lady in my case.
If affirmative action means what I just described, what I'm for, then I'm for it.
It is clear our nation is reliant upon big foreign oil. More and more of our imports come from overseas.
Natural gas is hemispheric. I like to call it hemispheric in nature because it is a product that we can find in our neighborhoods.
One of the common denominators I have found is that expectations rise above that which is expected.
What I'm against is quotas. I'm against hard quotas, quotas that basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society.
I have a different vision of leadership. A leadership is someone who brings people together.
I mean, there needs to be a wholesale effort against racial profiling, which is illiterate children.
I understand small business growth. I was one.
I'm a patient man. And when I say I'm a patient man, I mean I'm a patient man.
I'm hopeful. I know there is a lot of ambition in Washington, obviously. But I hope the ambitious realize that they are more likely to succeed with success as opposed to failure.
As governor of Texas, I have set high standards for our public schools, and I have met those standards.
Drug therapies are replacing a lot of medicine as we used to know it.
There's no bigger task than protecting the homeland of our country.
There's no such thing as legacies. At least, there is a legacy, but I'll never see it.
This is Preservation Month. I appreciate preservation. It's what you do when you run for president. You gotta preserve.
We don't believe in planners and deciders making the decisions on behalf of Americans.
Well, I think if you say you're going to do something and don't do it, that's trustworthiness.
To those of you who received honors, awards and distinctions, I say well done. And to the C students, I say you, too, can be president of the United States.
I still think no one can beat Khomeini when it comes to "great words of wisdom". Here are a few. Enjoy.
The meat of horses, mules, or donkeys is not recommended. It is strictly forbidden if the animal was sodomized while alive by a man. In that case, the animal must be taken outside the city and sold.
Young boys or girls in full sexual effervescence are kept from getting married before they reach the legal age of majority. This is against the intention of divine laws. Why should the marriage of pubescent girls and boys be forbidden because they are still minors, when they are allowed to listen to the radio and to sexually arousing music?
It is preferable, for urinating or defecating, to squat down in an isolated place; it is also preferable to go into this place with the leftfoot first, and come out of it with the right foot first; it is recommended that one keep his head covered while evacuating, and have the weight of his body carried by the left foot.
If one commits an act of sodomy with a cow, a ewe, or a camel, their urine and their excrements become impure, and even milk may no longer be consumed. The animal must then be killed as quickly as possible and burned, and the price of it paid to its owner by him who sodomized it.
There are eleven things which are impure: urine, excrement, sperm, bones, blood, dogs, pigs, non-Muslim men and women, wine, beer, and the sweat of the excrement-eating camel.
Wine and all other intoxicating beverages are impure, but opium and hashish are not.
Wine and all other intoxicating beverages are impure, but opium and hashish are not.
During sexual intercourse, if the penis enters a woman's vagina or a man's anus, fully or only as far as the circumcision ring, both partners become impure, even if they have not reached puberty; they must consequently perform their ablution. If the man thinks that he has not entered the woman’s vagina beyond the circumcision ring, ablution is not necessary.
If a man – God protect him for it – fornicates with an animal and ejaculates, absolution is necessary.
Sorry for the lingo, not mine, his. There is a lot more and for all of you who think this a joke, ask Mahyar Farahbakhshian. It seems he knows every thing.
Azari,
Thank you! That made my morning.
And with all due respect to our host, if we may engage in the attributing of pretended quotes to those with whom we disagree, then I would have a field day.
For example:
"In the four years since the inspectors left, intelligence reports show that Saddam Hussein has worked to rebuild his chemical and biological weapons stock, his missile delivery capability, and his nuclear program. He has also given aid, comfort, and sanctuary to terrorists, including al Qaeda members ... It is clear, however, that if left unchecked, Saddam Hussein will continue to increase his capacity to wage biological and chemical warfare, and will keep trying to develop nuclear weapons."
And what I'd do is attribute that to, just for fun, say Hillary.
Oh, wait. She really did say that. On Oct 10, 2002 to be exact.
Ok, let me try again.
"[W]ithout question, we need to disarm Saddam Hussein. He is a brutal, murderous dictator, leading an oppressive regime ... He presents a particularly grievous threat ... he is miscalculating America's response to his... consistent grasp for weapons of mass destruction ... the threat of Saddam Hussein with weapons of mass destruction is real."
Let's see should I attribute that to GWB or maybe Powell...Nah, how about Kerry?
Oh, wait. Sen. John F. Kerry (D, MA), reallly DID say that on Jan. 23. 2003.
I could go on, but those who hate to hear the truth are probably turning beet red.
Maybe I should dream up something more outrageous like "We know that he has stored secret supplies of biological and chemical weapons throughout his country."
And atrribute it to the U.N.?
Oh wait, anyone remember Al Gore? He really said it on Sept. 23, 2002
But I guess if I just made up the quotes it'd save me all that actual research, reading and thinking.
Two good reasonsfor more of the same from the late Ayatollah.
1- I made some one's day, and that's something. seriously.
2-As it's fasting month, you guys better know what you are doing!
Notice there is no mention of.. " if a woman..."
If a man has intercourse because he hasforgotten that he is in a fasting period, or if someone forces him to have intercourse, his fast has not been broken. But if he remembers the fast while the sex act is taking place, or if he is no longer forcibly constrained to complete the coitus, he must interrupt it immediately.
If a man during a fasting period masturbates and brings himself to ejaculation, his fasting has been broken.
If a man ejaculates involuntarily, his fast remains valid, but if he himself does anything whatsoever to help along his involuntary
ejaculation, the fast is considered to be null and void.
If, in order to rescue a person from drowning, one’s head becomes immersed during a period of fasting, one’s fast is invalidated, even if there was no other way of saving
the drowning person’s life.
There is one of the differences between us Eyeranians and an American.
If we have leaders who say stupid things or do even more stupider things, we are very comfortable to jump on them, make fun of them or even stand up to them.
The American sees his leader being sooo stupid, he HAS TO try to come back with an answer or try to defend something that is so utterly undefendable.
Stephen, the examples you provided are not related to topic. If Pedram was a democrat and had posted quotes from this administration about their lies regarding the war, your comments would have made perfect sense. This post was not about a man that lies often (as he obviously does) but is about one that lacks the necessary skills to articulate his thoughts and comes up with nothing but pure stupidity.
Great post btw, I'm still laughing!
Posted by: Naser at November 13, 2003 07:32 AMNasar,
With due respect, my post was relevant because I was making a point about invented quotes vs actual quotes.
As for making fun of one's self, I submit my post on the other new story by Pedram!
Posted by: stephen at November 13, 2003 08:52 AM...and when they miserably get outdone, they claim it was all "invented" and a fake.
thank god there's good records of all of this b.s. dubster has said or they'd deny not only this, but all other lies spewed by this administration over the last years.
i guess the problem is hemispheric, because as with racial profiling, you have c students and even our high standard public schools importing some overseas items and by doing so endanger the homeland of our country and replacing the medicines that i have not seen as being our legacy. i vulcanize and delineate illiterate children, i am one. so why should planners and deciders make decisions when my daddy says i can do it?
Posted by: nobody at November 13, 2003 09:07 AMNaser,
I suppose you've never said anything stupid? If everybody who ever said anything stupid were a moron, the average IQ would be about 2. The difference between "W" and you and me is that when he says something stupid, it's captured on film, video, and audiotape and broadcast to the world. And I was under the impression that when you Eyeranians (at least the ones still in Eyeran) stood up to, made fun of, or otherwise criticized your leaders, you ended up dead or in jail.
These quotes do not prove that Bush is stupid, just that he is not a spontaneous public speaker and is prone to mangling words. There is an important cultural difference in that Middle Easterners are very sensitive to language and equate strong oratory speaking skills with intelligence, whereas people in Western countries might mistrust those same great speakers as being oily (for want of a better word), and they tend to trust people who are plain-spoken.
Stephen, I don't understand your quotes. All I get out of them is that the democrats were as duped by the spin or the bad intelligence as the public.
Regressive, the average IQ is always 100, and you may be shocked to learn that fully half of our population has an IQ below it!!
regressive, eyeranians live under a dictatorship at this moment, what is your point? at least we have the balls to stand up against them. besides, we both still have leaders that are morons. just one admits it, the other not.
every politician is captured on film, video and more, so? name one more in such high position that has had as many stupid things captured as this one. can you think of another u.s president for example that has this much crap already "captured"? I bet not. i suppose the closest anyone this stupid has come to that office was quayle, another buddy of w and company with the new american century bs.
Posted by: Naser at November 13, 2003 12:22 PMHadeyah,
Ha ha. I'm perfectly aware that the average IQ is always 100 and of what average means. I was using a figure of speech to make the point that everyone says stupid things and that saying stupid things occasionally doesn't necessarily mean one is stupid.
Naser, I'm also aware that eyeran is a dictatorship and of how much balls it must take to stand up to leaders in a dictatorship. My point is that contrary to your assertion, we Americans constantly make fun of our leaders. Have you ever watched American TV for any length of time? Because we can do so without fear of execution or imprisonment, we probably do it more than the typical eyeranian. That's not a slam to the typical eyeranian. It's just a statement that your assertion that we can only defend our leaders without any sense of humor or defiance toward them is nonsense worthy of the quotes Pedram posted.
Posted by: regressive at November 13, 2003 01:07 PMAll the quotes above (if true, and usually about half or so on these kinds of lists arent) show is that he is a terrible public speaker. Some of the most brilliant, succesful and kind people i know are worst at public speaking. Conversely, some of the most dispicable people I know are brililant, eloquent speakers. History is littered with tragic tales of those who used proper language and personal charm to take charge and use the power of words to get others to commit horrible acts.
Bush suffers significant political disadvantages for not being a good speaker, and one can even argue that as the leader of a country, he should at least learn how to communicate more effectively.
As far as trust is concerend, i would pick a man who has to rely on his actions because he cant talk well over somoene who is charming charesmatic any day.
Besides, if Bush was such an ediot, as you and some commenters have stated, pray tell how he managed to become the most powerful man in the world.
Oh i forgot, it was a conspiracy of shadowy figures. This is an Iranian board after all. The entire world is a massive conspiracy put together by 4 mysterious men and a chicken who decide the outcomes of wars, elections and sporting events, and script everything in the media, as well as the jokes in "Who'se line is it anyway?"
Posted by: Omid at November 13, 2003 01:32 PMWhat I say, may indicate I am stupid.
What I do, proves that I am.
Azari.
I say, I want to fight the terrorists.
I invade Iraq and make a haven for all of them to move in.
When President of United States speaks english, I feel excellent about my devastatingly terrible english skill.
Posted by: Faramin at November 13, 2003 06:21 PMJust a friednly reminer that little over 40% of Americans in the last election voted for W as thier fearless leader. What this tell us is not how smart W or the alternative is/was/could be, rather how people were lead to belive that he or almost Gore was the man. Now we as eyeranins should always keep that in mind. One conselation is that we know in this republic the CEO has a board of directors that will keep him in streight and narrow path. SO, don'r worry be happy!!
Posted by: Ali at November 14, 2003 09:10 AMAli, I think I understand your point but just wanted to clarify one point; not 40% of Americans voted for W.
Close to 46% of the almost 55% who actually voted, voted for him. Then in reality, around 25% of Americans (who qualified to vote) voted for him.
Posted by: Kristen at November 14, 2003 09:47 AMKristen, you are right, but still he is the man of the hour and non of us can't deny that. Bottom line is that it will take a large village to fix the mess W will leave us when he packs his stuff out of the white house.
Posted by: Ali at November 14, 2003 11:10 PM